Mindful Adventures – Lisa Markwick

Mindful listening creates the wisest speaking

Reflecting about “belonging”

Last week I presented the 10^th speech of a series of 10 speeches at Toast Masters.  Although I was supposed to apply all I’d learnt from the series of previous speeches I found this one probably the easiest one to do.  I did have a structure in mind but I let myself speak from the moment as well.  I spoke about how inspiring it is to me that in this group I have a felt sense of belonging.  This feeling has prompted me to guess that indeed the bigger purpose (spoken or not) of our group is to create a world where people clearly feel they belong.  If this is the sense that we get in this small group, and if each interaction we have is a micro-representation of a bigger whole, then we are opening ourselves to the possibility of creating a world where people really feel their innate belonging.

Mindful Listening creates belonging

I went on to speak about some specifics of what I had noticed over the years of my membership in this Toast Masters Club.  Some were personal stories which don’t make much sense outside of their context.   One aspect however, that others in the group seemed to really respond to, was the privilege I gave to the power of listening (rather than speaking) to create this sense of belonging and community.  I believe that the quality of our listening is the pivotal practice of leadership for healing, change and hence grows “belonging”, in our world.

Listening for what is emerging: for “highest possibility” in others

In “my” Daybreak Toast Masters Club I notice listening that comes from a place of mindful openness, and that recognises the greatest possibility in the speaker.  People seem to be listening for the essence of what is being said, for what is being birthed in front of us.  It is certainly my own experience that when I am offered this kind of spaciousness through listening, my own speaking is shaped and created in ways that I could not have created on my own .  I find wisdom that was not there (or not recognised) before hand.  It’s like parts of me that were “floating around randomly” come to find a home, settle and come out in words more wise than I’d ever spoken earlier.

So what is your experience?  When have you found that the listening of others has created new wisdom in your speaking?  What are the conditions for this kind of listening?